Friday, May 14, 2010

'Twas the night before 'Ard Boyz

Twas the night before 'Ard Boyz, when all through the drop pod
Not a creature was stirring, not even Todd.
Our army was all hunkered down with care,
In hopes that brutal victory would soon be there.

The genestealers were nestled all snug in their spores,
While visions of entrails tingled their pores.
And Calgar in his power armor, and I with my bolt gun,
Had just settled in and were preparing for fun.

When out in the ruins there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my foxhole to see what was the matter.
Away to the safety of 4+ cover I went,
In hopes that not all of my rounds had been spent.

The moons on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of dusk to bodies below.
When, what to my watering eyes should I spy,
But a monstrous Trygon with a twinkle in his eye.

With its scything talons, so lively and spry,
I knew in a moment, 'we're all gonna die!'
More rapid than thunderbolts his murderous blows did they come,
And he hissed and he roared and slaughtered some!

"Die Space Marine! Die Blood Angel! Wolf and Templar!
Die Ork! Die Eldar, Tau, and Necron!"
Shred them, spear them, impale them all!
Now devourer them! Devourer them! big and small!"

And then in a twinkling I heard from above
The flapping of wings - surely 'twas not a dove
I drew tight my weapon and was turning around,
Down came a Tyrant with a earth shaking bound.

His chitin was all covered with blood and gore,
His lash whip and bonesword all ready to skewer.
A bulbous sac of poison venom on his back,
He looked like a nightmare, ready to attack.

His eyes-how they glared! his talons how scary!
His wings were pumping, which made us so wary!
His slobbering mouth was preparing to savor,
Our small band of troops; his favorite flavor.

With one fell swoop he barred his teeth,
I drew my powersword out from its sheath.
Our man with the powerfist was the first to die,
And quickly I realized so would I.

He tore through the squad with the greatest of ease
And impaled Brother Winston into the trees.
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon made me know I had everything to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And finished the squad, then turned with a jerk.
And lunging his bonesword into my chest,
Serenity overcame me, I'd soon be at rest!

Failing my leadership, suffering from instant death,
I looked to the sky and exhaled my last breath.
He sprang to the air and let out a shriek,
As I heard him exclaim...
"Happy 'Ard Boyz you nub, better luck next week!"

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